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    Skylark's Blog

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    Skylark
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    Join date : 2011-08-02
    Age : 25
    Location : My Nest on a Tree
    20110802

    Skylark's Blog

    Post by Skylark

    Oh how wonderful. It's my very own Blog. I hope you all can enjoy my weirdness that i'm going to type in this blog. If you cannot deal with it, i advise you to leave now.

    A Blog About Shit.



    To get one thing out of the way beforehand: This thread is about taking a shit. If you are in any way offended by the concept of such a blog, against free speech, illiterate, muslim or a homosexual jewish republican whose surname is "Shit", I kindly ask you to leave this page now.

    Everyone else, hop aboard.

    Going to the toilet. Everyone does it, right? Some just shit in the woods or dig holes for it (I'm looking at you mario), but we obviously morally and sanatorily(sp?) superior civilized people have such a thing called "toilet".

    It's something people don't like to talk about. Especially not girls. Definite not. I think it's pretty common knowledge that GIRLS DON'T NEED TO SHIT OR MAYBE. It would defecate(ironically) their image of gorgeous, celestial beings. Or something.
    I mean, we all know they do, we just don't want to imagine it. I certainly don- JESUS CHRIST I JUST DID D:

    My point is, taking a shit is something really dirty. You'd better wash your hands clean after shitting, I won't disregard that fact.

    But now I have to share my actual opinion about taking a shit with you.

    It's pretty much one of the best things to do in the world.

    Wait, what? Yes, that's what I thought as well when I formulated that sentence in my mind for the first time.

    It is a moment of silence.

    We live in a hectic, performance-oriented society. We hardly have time for ourselves, we are hardly ever alone, we're supposed to be reachable via cellphone, etc.

    But in all this...During school, at work, on a train, at home... in most scenarios, you can take a shit. In general, nobody will tell you to hold it in if you really have to go (Thank god for diarrhea at this point). Nobody will be mad if you don't accept a call while your breakfast reaches the end of its journey. No teacher can deny you to leave class for that.

    It's a brake you can always take - To escape from the hectic daily life. Even if just for 5 minutes. Or 15 in my case, since I tend to take a bit longer (now guess why)
    I often tend to go to the toilet when I don't actually have to. With a "oh my, nothing actually came out", I leave again, silently smirking over the fact that I just had free time when others didn't.

    Silence? Now you're gonna say "Lol how can all that shitting and farting be silent?"
    I'm not talking about silence from physical noise. I'm talking about silence from outer influences.
    Who's gonna bugger you while taking a shit? Under normal circumstances, nobody.
    That is silence.

    The following three are points that I see myself, I don't know if others feel the same way. I mean hey, I never took a shit for you and I'm certainly not gonna take your shit. Just guessing.

    It is a moment of thought.

    In said moment of silence, you can think about pretty much anything.
    Daily things, your relationship, your future life, the nice ass of your co-worker when she's whipping around in front of the coffee machine... anything.
    Considering you hardly have anything else to do, it's likely that you're gonna think about SOMETHING. And strangely enough, actually THINKING is something we rarely do in this time and age.
    Thinking too long about something leads to depression (scientifically proven), so being on the toilet offers just the right time to think to not cause any shit. At least not literally.

    It is a moment of creativity.
    I'm serious here. Creativity.
    I've made up characters, stories, entire universes on the toilet. I imagined drawings. I came up with great new ideas for things I'm making. This is caused by the above: Thought.

    Taking a shit provides immediate success and reward after effort of a basic body function. A better motivational process has yet to be invented.

    Ironically, I came up with the idea for this blog while on the toilet.

    And now excuse me, all this talking made me kinda hungry.





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    Post on Thu Nov 10, 2011 6:19 pm by Dєα∂ℓу αℓινє.

    what the fuck

      Current date/time is Sun Nov 18, 2018 5:34 pm